The Spooky Bastard: A Glowing's Beyonder

This is a short, politically satirical, work I wrote some centuries ago:

A small, stringy Red Coat shifted down Memory Lane one evening, every so often sipping from a pouch some certifiably delicious organic milk that I bought last week - costing $4.29 for a half gallon! He gribbled (?) and groaned, remembering a Spirited Philosophical Debate that he had with another Red Coat, JT Ketterboobs earlier that night. Ketterboobs undoubtedly had won, and while our protagonist understood this, and did not particularly mind this, Ketterboobs' demeanor that night angered him. Ketterboobs was then a ghost, and nobody had warned our protagonist of this, whom it turned out was certifiably mortified of ghosts. And as if that weren't enough! Ketterboobs had poked fun at our protagonist the night through, whom had done seemingly nothing to provoke the attacks. Our protagonist, after sucking out the last drop of milk from his pouch, and shaking it desperately in the air in an attempt to siphon even a little bit more, threw it frustratingly over the railing of a bridge as he walked over it - well, on it.

"Hey, Adam Shiverbelt!" came a shout from the river. Adam - our protagonist - peered over the bridge railing into the water. "Oh, it's you," said Adam. He began to move faster. "Come on, Adam, stop," said JT, as he floated up from the water and on to the bridge. "And why should I!" exploded Adam, spinning around to face his pursuer, "you've done nothing this night but barrage me with your Catapult Tongue!" "Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now," JT repeats, "I meant not to Kalashnikov your glappers." "Well you did a right good job at that!" whimpers Adam, "I did nothing to provoke your attacks!" "No?" JT asks, menacingly and playfully, simultaneously. Suddenly, and with relatively little warning, JT grew to the size of a Demon Windmill and thundered "YOU'VE MURDERED ME!" Adam slammed his face into his hands, and tears streamed down his face. He started to run from the Ghost Fiend of his Former Friend, but was no match for the specter's asteroid-esque speed. Before long JT had overwhelmed him, and, picking him up by the top of his top hat, threw him over the side of the bridge into the fiery torrent of the Nile River in Egypt.

Well, what have we learned?